A letter from our Board President
Common Questions about Child Sexual Abuse
Are You a Victim of Sexual Abuse?
Common questions about child sexual abuse
Is child sexual abuse really a big problem?
Statistics show that child sexual abuse occurs at an alarming rate. Most reliable studies in the U.S. Show that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys have been sexually abused before age 18. It is estimated that less than one victim in ten will ever tell. In fact, Vermont has a higher reported rate of sexual abuse than the rest of the nation.
Who are the abusers?
People who molest children come in all shapes and sizes, racial and socioeconomic backgrounds. In 95% of all cases of child sexual abuse in Vermont, the victim knew the abuser either as a relative or family friend. The Vermont report on Child Abuse and Neglect states that 45% of the perpetrators were boys under the age of 20.
How does this happen?
There is an imbalance of power. Children are often dependent on adults or older children in their lives. They often trust or like the person who is molesting them. Children often know little about sexuality and they don’t always know that what is happening to them is not OK. If a child is threatened or scared he or she may not know how to tell or ask for help. It is important to remember that child sexual abuse is never the child’s fault; it is always the fault of the offender.
Why do people sexually victimize children?
People who have been successfully treated for child sexual abuse often describe feelings of despair and loneliness, which usually proceeds victimizing a child. Fore many, this is a pattern that began when they were abused as children. Abusers often become “hooked” on using children to achieve sexual arousal and their control of the situation leads to a sense of power. This is a hard concept for many to understand. However, understanding the reasons why someone abuses a child is never an excuse or permission for them to act on their impulses.
Can a sex offender ever be cured?
With full accountability for his or her crimes, specialized treatment, and adequate support groups, a sex offender can learn to control his or her abusive behavior. Like many other diseases and dysfunctions (e.g., alcoholism) we cannot expect a cure, but we can expect control of behavior throughout a lifetime.
Are there false reports or false accusations?
Children are more apt to under report than false report. Much controversy stems from parents who believe their adult children falsely accuse them of sexual abuse. At issue for these parents is whether adults can recall abuse from childhood that was previously forgotten. The media also publicizes allegations of sexual abuse in a variety of divorce proceedings. These cases raise questions regarding the reliability of reporting sexual abuse. This is not an easy topic for anyone. However, when we weigh the number of false reports against the number of children who have been sexually abused, we know that we must not turn away out of fear of a false report. What we can learn from these cases is the importance of asking careful questions and not jumping to false conclusions based on little or no evidence. We must be able to respect every individual n each situation.
Is healing from sexual abuse possible for a child?
Yes, healing form child sexual abuse is possible. We have many wonderful examples of children healing from the child abuse and living out caring and productive lives. Key to the healing process is the opportunity to deal directly with the abusive situation and having support from significant people in the child’s life. Anyone responsible for an abused child should ensure adequate treatment for that child through private or publicly available programs. O.U.R. House is a resource for people in the Washington County area. Vermont now has four other Children’s Advocacy Centers as well.
Are there things that parents can do to prevent child sexual abuse?
Yes, you can give your children the skills, knowledge, and ability to protect themselves from abuse. For, instance, children need to know what kinds of touches are OK and what touches are not OK. They need to have a sense of being able to control their own bodies in exchange for physical affection. The need to have assertive techniques for telling someone not to touch them, and they need to have confidence in an adult who will believe and protect them if told about an incident. Always know where your child is and whom she/he is with. Teach your child the correct names for body parts to give them a comfortable language. Listen to your child. Remind children that they have your permission to tell if someone touches them in a not OK way. Define family boundaries, and periodically review personal safety as a total family.